WWE RAW 5/9/11

It is now time for WWE Monday Night RAW for May 9th 2011. We are thirteen days away from WWE Over the Limit on May 22nd 2011.

WWE Monday Night RAW results for 5/9/11

Ricardo Rodriguez is out to the ring, to announce Alberto Del Rio. Alberto Del Rio states that he wants the match with John Cena at Over the Limit. Out comes Rey Mysterio, who says he should be the number one contender. The Miz and Alex Riley come out, with the Miz saying that he would be the WWE Champion if it was not for the incompetence of one Alex Riley and also he wants to be the number one contender. Out comes R-Truth and he says he took out John Morrison. John Morrison will be on the shelf for the next few months due to a neck injury. R-Truth talks about how hospital food makes people constipated and he talks about how he should take out John Cena. "You kick my dog, I'll kick your cat." That's going to get WWE a letter from PETA. He calls The Miz, Kermit and Alberto "A Fence Jumper." Yikes, this segment.

The Anonymous RAW General Manager dings in. I should note that we're less than two months away from the RAW General Manager angle going on for a year. Michael Cole reads it on his IPad. Three of the four men deserve title shots. Alberto Del Rio, The Miz, and Rey Mysterio are going to compete in a number one contenders match later tonight on RAW. R-Truth is not happy. The Miz calls Rey and Alberto "Day Laborers" and says that he doesn't care what they accomplished on Smackdown. Ricardo goes to announce Alberto but Alex Riley attacks Alberto and Ricardo dropkicks Alex Riley. Okay that was awesome! Chaos and Rey Mysterio manages to be the last man standing.

Eve Torres and Kelly Kelly defeated the Bella Twins.

Kelly Kelly rolls up Brie Bella for the pin. Then afterwards, Kharma makes her weekly appearance. The Bella Twins sneak way and Kelly Kelly smartly flees, but Eve attacks Kharma. That was a stupid move and Kharma lays out Eve with the Implant Buster.

Kane and Mason Ryan square off once again, because it was such an epic match last week.

Kane(w/The Big Show) defeated Mason Ryan(w/CM Punk) via disqualification.

At least it was short. Mason Ryan looked positively radioactive. Overdid it with the spray on tan. CM Punk tries to get involved but the Big Show gets knocked out. CM Punk is on his way out in a few months, unless he sign a new contract. Out rushes David Otunga and Michael McGuillicutty for the disqualification. They were beaten down and then Mason Ryan was destroyed with a Double Choke Slam. Maybe this time the Nexus was killed off, although this would be about the third or fourth time.

Out comes Vickie Guerrero, to introduce a generic local wrestler. Oh wait, that's Dolph Ziggler. That hair cut makes him look like a low rent Val Venis.

Dolph Ziggler(w/Vickie Guerrero) pinned Santino Marella with the Zig Zag.

Cobra is evaded and Dolph Ziggler zig zags Santino down for the pin.

R-Truth states there is a conspiracy to keep him down, with Scott Stanford. He talks about how "Little Ronnie" wants him to say What's Up. He tries to keep Stanford to say the two words, and when Stanford does, he just gets a dirty look from Truth.

Zack Ryder cameo on RAW, as John Cena makes his way out for an interview.

The Miz dresses down Alex Riley for costing him the title last week. Alex Riley says he'll make it up to the Miz, that the Miz is the only one that he cares about. Ahhh. Riley comes out and calls out John Cena and we have a match.

John Cena pinned Alex Riley.

Alex Riley gets some token offense but John Cena beats him up. The Miz stands on the ramp, but he does nothing. John Cena hits a pair of Attitude Adjustments and locks on the STF on Alex Riley for the submission win. A legalized beating by John Cena on Alex Riley, nothing much more than that.

Out comes Michael Cole, with a big announcement, saying that he's going to retire from in ring competition, undefeated and expects to be inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame. Jerry Lawler interrupts him and challenges Michael Cole to a match, offering to put his Hall of Fame ring on the line and induct Michael Cole in personally. Michael Cole declines and returns to the Cole Mine.

Then Michael Cole started talking about Mother's Day and I brace myself. This is the company that once had Randy Orton say that Eddie Guerrero was not in heaven, he was in hell, so I brace myself for what is going to happen. Michael Cole talks about how he spent mother's day with his mother, watching "his beating of Jerry Lawler at Wrestlemania 27". Cole asks Lawler how he spent mother's day with his mother, before saying, "oh right she's dead."

I still think TNA using Kurt Angle's children as storyline props was far more disgusting for the record. But this was pretty bad. Jerry Lawler goes right for Michael Cole and Jack Swagger rushes out to attack Jerry Lawler from behind. Kofi Kingston rushes out and we have a match.

United States Champion Kofi Kingston pinned Jack Swagger to retain the title.

Oh joy, this match again. Nothing wrong with the match technically speaking, but its happened a lot. That draft really sure shook things up. Jerry Lawler distracts Swagger and Kofi Kingston pulls out the Trouble in Paradise to get the pin. This was merely adequate. Then Jerry Lawler grabs Michael Cole by the tie and began to pull him into the Cole Mine. Tie related violence for the record got Daniel Bryan fired for a few months a year ago although not quite the same thing. Swagger yells that Lawler is fired because he attacked Michael Cole but Lawler didn't touch Michael Cole, he grabbed his tie. I wonder how well that would hold up in a court of law.

Then Jack Swagger accepts the match on behalf of Michael Cole for Over the Limit. I mean, this feud really has to end with Jerry Lawler beating Michael Cole senseless. What more can they do? Its should have been over two months ago. We need multiple piledrivers and a fireball to the face and WWE will never do it.

The Miz defeated Alberto Del Rio and Rey Mysterio to become the number one contender for the WWE Championship at Extreme Rules.

Triple Threat Matches are always great matches and this match was no exception to say the very least. Rey delivers the Springboard Splash on Alberto but Alex Riley gets involved(despite being killed to death earlier by two Attitude Adjustments). The Miz rolls up Rey and scores the pin to become the number one contender.

After the match, John Cena comes out and announces that he's going to face the Miz in an I Quit Match at Over the Limit. Unless they pull the Rock/Mankind finish, no way Cena's losing this one. R-Truth jumps Rey Mysterio afterwards and beats him up and that be that.

Thoughts on the Show: A lackluster and strange RAW, with many moments that I'm sure offended many people. RAW at this time of the year always falls really bad, despite the fact that the draft in theory should shake things up.

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