WWE RAW 1/9/12

It is now time for WWE RAW for 1/9/12 featuring John Cena going one on one with Dolph Ziggler and the return of Brodus Clay. Oh boy, does he ever return.

WWE RAW 1/9/12

Kane is out. Everyone hates but they don’t fully embrace it. Give into the hate. There will be consequences. Such as this horrible promo. Out comes John Cena. Cena and Kane do some brawly, brawly, brawl, brawl around the ring and the backstage area. Kane is gone after a bit. Whatever.

Santino Marella and Sheamus defeated Jinder Mahal and Wade Barrett

If they wanted to push Jinder(I don’t know why they would), then putting him on RAW would be the last thing that they should do, because every time he’s on RAW, he seems like he gets crushed by Santino or Sheamus and in this case, its both. Brogue Kick sets up the Cobra for the win.

The Miz and John Laurinaitis plot backstage.

Edge will be going into the Hall of Fame. Good for him.

Mason Ryan gets time on RAW, with the Miz talking to him about something or other. What the Miz is selling, is Mason Ryan isn’t buying.

Zack Ryder doesn't really want a piece of Kane. Ryder and Eve will go on a date, after Eve’s match with Beth Phoenix. Kane is in the closet. Make your own joke.

Daniel Bryan defeated Kofi Kingston

Short match, as Daniel Bryan finds himself back on RAW with the three minute matches of doom and LaBell Lock gets the submission win.

Big Show and Daniel Bryan exchange some words and the end result is a No Disqualification Match on Smackdown.

Then, we get either the greatest segment in the history of Monday Night wrestling or the worst. Your mileage may greatly vary. Brodus Clay finally makes his debut, hailing from Planet Funk, he’s the Funkasarus, and he comes out with two dancing girls, to the theme music of Ernest “The Cat” Miller. Got a chuckle for sure, but I just have a feeling this will be a gimmick that will get a couple of RAW matches before Brodus is banished back to Superstars/NXT or Future Endeavored. Just call it a hunch.

Brodus Clay defeated Curt Hawkins

Brodus Clay in this gimmick , very much the bastard child of Flash Funk, The Godfather, Ernest Miller, and Ice Train(not sure how that works), hits a T-Bone Suplex, Avalanche and the Fall of Humanity gets the pin. Back to NXT with you, young Hawkins.

Zack Ryder, much like a horror movie victim, is spooked. Could it be, could it not be? Who knows?

The Miz talks to Primo and Epico but they’re not down with joining forces with the Miz.

CM Punk defeated Jack Swagger

If Punk wins this match, than no Vickie Guerrero and Jack Swagger at the Royal Rumble. Well that’s good. Match was good but there was a slightly botched finish. Flying Macho Man Elbow Drop gets the pin, but Swagger pops the shoulder at what was supposed to be three. Oh well, it’s not like Swagger was going to get a big main event push anyway. Swagger and Vickie are banned from ringside at the Royal Rumble.

John Cena and Zack Ryder are backstage, but when the word “Twitter” is mentioned, I automatically stop paying attention to this segment.

The Miz recruits Ricardo Rodiguez to go to the ring with him and likely to fulfill is contractual obligations of getting beaten up.

The Four Horsemen are going into the Hall of Fame as in the best version, Ric Flair, JJ Dillon, Tully Blanchard, Arn Anderson, and Barry Windham. No Ole Anderson. I do wish a certain man with a crippling moveset would have been acknowledged for his contributions. He’s done some suspect things but he’s a former World Champion, so give him his do. That’s right, I’m very displeased that Sid Vicious is not getting his proper shake in the Hall of Fame.

Miz and R-Truth have a confrontation. R-Truth beats up Ricardo as expected and Miz bails like the chicken he is.

Chris Jericho pops up and says nothing. Mock crying. Chris Jericho may be the greatest troll on earth.

Beth Phoenix and Eve Torres were to have a match but no Beth, as out comes Kane, for blood….Eve’s blood. Zack Ryder gets her out of their and tries to make a getaway, but the tire is flat. Oh the dramatic irony! Zack Ryder frantically tries to change the tire, before Kane eats their souls or something.

Dolph Ziggler and John Cena never ended due to Kane.

Both men had the makings of a decent match, but Kane manages to catch up with Ryder and then Choke Slam him to his doom! John Cena runs to the back and engages the monster in battle but Kane takes Cena out once again. Cena and Ryder are laid out and Kane is the last man standing again.

Why You Should Watch WWE RAW 1/9/12

The Funkasarus and Swagger against Punk was good until the screwy finish.

WWE RAW Results 1/9/12

Santino Marella and Sheamus defeated Jinder Mahal and Wade Barrett.

Daniel Bryan defeated Kofi Kingston

Brodus Clay defeated Curt Hawkins.

CM Punk defeated Jack Swagger.

Dolph Ziggler battled John Cena to a no contest.
 

WWE RAW Past Reports
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