Top five lists are my favorite articles to make because I get to share my opinion and rank things where they should be placed. This will be a top 5 list of the worst movies ever made and released. These five movies should never had been producers. The producers should have taken one look at these scripts and said "start over." However, what saved some of these movies was that they were produced, directed, and written by the same person. So here are the five worst movies of all time.
5. Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2 (2004)- This movie is one of the hardest to get through. The plot is very simple, but at the same time, goes nowhere. It is about four babies who can talk to each other using a secret language called "baby talk." The baby geniuses help legendary baby Kahuna save the entire world from a kidnapper who wants to brainwash the entire world's population to not be active and not watch TV forever. This movie is ridiculous and not in a good way. Also, you would think this movie would be good since Bob Clark, who directed the legendary film, A Christmas Story (1983), was at the helm of this project. I guess he wasn't thinking either.
4. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964)- This science fiction film may be the worst classic movie of all time, in my opinion. It is all about the martian government not wanting Santa Claus to give presents to the little martian children. They try and fail to kill Santa a bunch of times and the assistant to the martian king attempts to make toys in the factory, but the assassin martian captures the assistant thinking he is Santa. Santa tells the martian king that his assistant would make a good "martian Santa" and the king agrees. So, the assistant becomes the Martian Santa. The end. The plot line is so roundabout that it is unbelievable and the ending just annoys anyone who watches. The title is also misleading: Santa does not conquer the martians; he just makes a deal with them.
3. Troll 2 (1990)- Even worse than the terrible plot line in this 1990 sequel of an already mediocre prequel is the terrible acting. The plot is just about a family who gets attacked by goblin-like troll creatures on a summer vacation to the town of Nilbog (if you havn't noticed, that is goblin spelled backwards). The movie is convoluted and makes little sense at any point. And it seems as though anything they are offered to eat or drink ends up turning them into plant/human hybrids. And of course there is the infamous line, "They're eating her, then they're going to eat me, OH MY GOD!" It was never the impact of the line, but rather the terrible delivery that made it famous. If a movie can be famous for terrible delivery of a line, it deserves to be one of the worst. (Infamous line linked below)
2. The Room (2003)- The Room was created, produced, written, directed, and stars Tommy Wiseau. This movie is the definition of an independent film and most times called the worst movie of all time, but only hits #2 on this list only because I know one that is worse. The movie is supposed to be a drama, but ends up coming off as a comedy because of terrible acting and terrible plotlines that no one can keep up with. I can't even begin to explain all of the plotlines that are intertwined in this one movie. But this movie has developed a cult following, having midnight showings all over the U.S. Then again, the audience is known for throwing plastic spoons at the screen. IFC.com called Wiseau's speaking voice, "Borat trying to do an impression of Christopher Walken playing a mental patient." Yeah, this movie is definitely more than bad. (Trailer linked below)
1. Birdemic: Shock and Terror (2008)- I didn't think I could find a movie that displacedThe Room as #1 until I saw this movie. The acting is honestly worse than in The Room and the plotline is also horrendous. The plot is simply a young couple going from town to town fending off an attack of eagles and vultures who can spit acid and burst into flame when they hit the ground. And their weapon of choice to fend these birds off: coat hangers. What else would you use? In the end, they find out that the birds are only attacking gas stations and cars because of global warming. Also, at the end of the movie, the eagles and vultures are warded off by a flock of doves. Could this movie be any more stupid? On top of this terrible plot, the visual effects are cheap and just awful. This movie is the worst of all time and it would take an extremely bad movie to beat this one, hands down. (Trailer linked below)