Stubbornness and Denial: The Ultimate Coping Mechanism

The fact of the matter is that everybody on this planet has a bit of stubbornness and a bit of denial to the hard truths of life. But which of these qualities is worse to display too much of: stubbornness or denial? Many will say that this is not a valid question because the two qualities are rarely paired together. However, containing too much of both of these qualities is practically a "kiss of death." There is a reason why I bundled these two seemingly different qualities together.

Stubbornness is the ability to be overly obstinate, unreasonable, and inexorable in one's viewpoints and issues. Denial is a defense mechanism (according to Sigmund Freud) that a person will use if a truth is too hard or difficult to grasp or accept, and instead will reject it all together. Stubbornness and denial go hand in hand. When you deny a truth, you will tend to be very stubborn in your rejection of that truth. In other words, your stubbornness will increase as the other person attempts to validate what you are attempting to deny. Many people are quick deny certain things people tell them because of the shock value, and then remain in denial using stubbornness as a cover. This will make the other person, telling you the truth, feel uneasy, and this is certainly not a way to make friends.

In the end, your denial could lead you to not learn the truth, and your stubbornness will keep you blocked off. This is the case with many social situations or shocking news stories people hear. If it is an angering or controversial event, some people will be quick to deny that it ever happened and then become extremely inexorable of the fact that it did not happen or that it is not true. Though these qualities can be quite detrimental by themselves somethimes, when working together, these two qualities are extremely damaging. Sometimes, it is easier if you just take it in stride and just accept the truth. Acceptance is always easier than rejection, in every sense.