A dreaded word "post marital affairs" is now a cliché. Human's succumbing tendency to sex has perplexed people since antiquity. Particularly, in modern time people are in dilemma where to draw a line between personal sexual gratification and one's commitment? I have tried to convey my way out of this dilemma by distinguishing pleasures and processes in life.
Don’t panic just at the mere hearing of a “profane” word “affairs”. Why do people think of an affair at all? Yes! A relationship which is not in the interest of society is termed as affair. Two bachelors if adore each other are said to be involved in affair. Why don’t we use the same word “affair” for a relationship between husbands and wives? It is simple because society gets nothing out of a relationship between husbands and wives. On the other hand, there is lot of juices oozing out of a relationship that too with spices which is between two persons who are potential subjects to be gossiped over with respect to their relations. Relationship is not always a hot topic to be brooded and lacerated. But yes, if the relationship is about involving two persons with slightest of hint of sex, the matter will be churned without pause and the person involved will be operated without anesthesia. This is nobody’s fault. It is all in our blood. It is human weakness to be more impatient towards sex. God has made it. So pardon them. May be God was afraid that his creation might stop self procreating he devised a way that most intense desire of life should lie at a place and in actions where from life would come out spontaneously. And He was very successful also in His very ingenious idea. Human could not resist the desire of having sex even when the age induced infirmity prevented his organ to cooperate with desire. He/she likes to have it till the last of breath or even before the desire to survive. We are slave of God’s gift. Deny it, deny yourself. Sex is central. Sex is peripheral. Sex is universal. Sex is iota. Sex is beginning and Sex is end.
So without wandering from the real question, a post marital affair can never be ruled out from the possibilities of human known and/or unknown thoughts and action. The desire to have sex with partners in variation is fundamental. This is such feeling and act which rejuvenates with change. Sleeping with a partner over and over again bores you. Single partner makes sexual part of your life monotonous. You start thinking of change.
Should you go for it? Should you declare it explicitly to your partner that he/she no more enjoys bed with him/her? Will you be called infidel? These are some questions which hounds every mind every heart, irrespective of the gender.
But then life is not merely what God made the most severe weakness of ours. Life is to live with a balance of love and duty (karma). Life is a process in the pursuit of satisfaction. Satisfaction is like a mirage which comes out of real components of nature but is never met. The real components of life are realization of the very purpose of being born. Do we born only to satisfy the desires of God’s gift? No! In the process of life other centers of emotions keep us going and that is why we become bonded to other kinds of relationships. We develop the pleasure of being a father/mother, son/daughter and so on. Apart from sex some other abstract feelings guides our purposes. We enjoy respecting rights and authoritativeness of our kith and kin. We like guidance and orders.
This is a state in life where we understand the importance of ignoring the urge of sex. Yes sex is pivotal, but to contain it is like cooling of a heated revolving wheel. Without containment life will run wildly but it may burn the fate of a heated wheel. So the solution is to ignore the deepest and purest desire of having sex or to have a variation in it. Do it just for the sake of going against the wishes of your mighty master who made you slave of it. Do it for the purpose of a hidden pleasure in being faithful to your husband/wife, and/or son/daughter. In any relationship partners tend to become possessive. It is not something a matter to be judged right or wrong. But possessiveness is a truth related to human psychology. We cannot get rid of it. This possessiveness in our attitude demands that our partners must be ours and only ours. There is nothing bad in it.
Post marital affairs are although natural and quite along the rights of personal gratification, nevertheless, one must not be prey of it keeping in view the process of life. It is wise to seek ultimate and intensive pleasure of having sex with your committed partners only. If you do tend to change partners beware that you must not be involved in any relationship which hurts other’s feelings directly or indirectly. Before marriage itself, you should have clear understanding that you are expected of commitments which will be above your sexual desires. If you believe in your rights of having maximum personal pleasure, then go for it but never marry. If you can enjoy having sex without emotion, you will get many partners but then never indulge yourself in a relationship that paves way for family. The greatest life is one which amalgamates sex and sacrifice together. To relinquish something to gain something is part and parcel of tenets of life. The better you balance greater is the height of ecstasy you touch.