For brides of a certain age, get out the paper and pen for some important paperwork. It may not be romantic but a divorcee or a widow lady must protect her assets. (Maybe we should also include a career lady who is marrying later in life.) If you don't do it yourself state laws take over. It's always best to draw up a prenuptial contract. The decisions are not easy to make, but are necessary. It's embarrassing and it can break up a wedding.

Sometimes it's best to keep assets separate. One problem is, to leave your 401K or pension to your children your new spouse cannot sign a waiver until after the wedding. Just suppose you die soon after the wedding, your new hubby inherits the whole pie. Your kids will be left out in the cold. So you might consider having a notary standing by at the wedding to get the waiver signed fast.

Your feelings about savings, stocks, and property you plan to leave your children might be stronger than you imagine. Spouses are supposed to trust each other with decisions, financial and emotional. But how many times have you seen a husband or wife blow though their deceased spouse's savings, leaving nothing for the children? More times than we want to think about.

Here's another tough decision to make about your home. In the event of your death, and you have underage children, would you want new hubby out and Aunt Wilma to move in the house to care for your offspring, or would you trust your new mate as their guardian? Think this one over carefully, the lives and happiness of your children are at stake.

Finding solutions for these problems and others you will think of are hard. You don't want to appear distrusting of your new husband, but you must protect your children interests first. It gets even more complicated if your spouse is bringing more children into the marriage. Your wedding vows are for richer or poorer, but can you trust your hubby or will you and your children wind up poorer?

Talk to an attorney and get the low down on what is legal and hope your sweetie wont bail out when he finds out what a persistent lady you are. It may take several conversations, but remember it's all about protecting yours and your kids assets. Hopefully you are marrying the kindest, sweetest, most honest man in the world, but you can never be sure of that. If your man cares enough to want the best for your family, he'll be happy to go along with your wishes.

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Comments

I'm guessing this is very much aimed at a US readership. Here in the UK until quite recently pre-nuptual contracts had very little legal force as the judge in a divorce has the task of deciding the split of assets as he judges meets the needs and circumstances of the soon-to-be-divorced partners and any children and is completely at liberty to over-ride any pre-marriage agreement. Now judges are being guided to give more weight to those pre-nups but he can still over-rule if deemed necessary.