I am lost

I’m suffering from such mental condition that can make me mad, so I put my feelings into my words not to bother my friends but to try to get rid of it.
I’m writing this article after wasting many papers. In fact, i cannot write now a days. I am feeling lost and my mind cannot gather the thoughts and words scattered in it. whenever i tried to write something, all the words get intermixed and i cannot make even a single sentence from these shattered words and thoughts. Now, I thought to write about my mental condition coz i wanna get rid of it.
I’m suffering from such mental condition for almost more than 6 months. i wanna live normal life but to be honest I’m not felling myself normal.
 i got first division in last semester of M.A , though i was suffering from this condition.
I fell no pain, no pleasure, no grief, I’m just emotionless now. When someone laughs in front of me, i laugh(without knowing the reason to laugh) , when someone smiles then i smile in an answer. When someone cry, i also cry and honestly, I’ve no reason and no feeling behind such actions.
I am in such terrible mental condition in which i can cry while laughing and i can laugh while crying.
I can sit in a position for more than an hour without changing my posture, staring at the wall, with a blank mind having no definite thought in it.

It hurts me when i breath. I don’t want to laugh. i wanna cry but cry loudly.
I was a good listener and a good speaker as well having grip on my topic, content and language(selection of words and sentences as well). But now, I can listen, but cannot understand properly the meaning of the spoken sentence. I use to think on it for some time to understand the meaning.I wanna talk but i cannot gather the words to make a proper sentence of it. So i try to be silent.I cannot give answer in details but in simple words, like Yes , No, Don’t know etc.
I’m suffering from such terrible condition for more than 6 months. This condition is trying to make me mad.
I turned to a living wound.
I expressed myself in my words not to bother my friends, but to get rid of such disguise.
Thanks to bear with me.