A good relationship requires more than just chemistry. Although chemistry is what makes us fall in love, it isn’t what gives us a long satisfying relationship. Any couple must have core values to share a good life together. Do you like the same things? Have the same outlook on life? What about home and family? Honesty, empathy? Nobody is perfect, we all have our share of faults, but honesty, communication and caring about each other must be at the center of every good relationship.
What are you looking for in the dating department? Are you looking for your one true love or just someone fabulous to have fun with? Then define your interests, and make them known to the right people, in the right places. When living the single life, step back and learn about life and love. Don’t rush into a bad relationship. Take your own sweet time getting to know the guy, being intimate ramps up the emotional risk, so keep the brakes on sex until you understand where he’s coming from.
Day dream a little and visualize your perfect companion. Write it down and be as specific as you can. Do you share the same activities, the same likes and dislikes? Do you share these traits, politics,passion, a spiritual connection, honesty, openness? Write down the traits that you can’t live without, and those you can possibly live with. One thing that you both must be on the same page with if you are serious is, home, children, responsibilities, careers and childcare. Never settle for anyone who can’t agree with you on these important factors. Have him to write the same list. Now see if you are alike in the same areas.
Of course, you understand the perfect partner doesn’t exist. Everyone has flaws and emotional baggage. Be realistic and don’t ask for the moon, but do be selective. Work on yourself in the meantime. Become someone you would enjoy spending time with. Practice expressing your feelings. Cultivate the same traits in yourself that you’re looking for in a partner. Establish a mutual connection by talking about shared interests and activities you can do together.
Bring up subjects and ask questions about the information you’re seeking from him. Ask about his work, how he relates to family, and what he does on weekends. Ask questions in such a way as not to get yes and no answers, aim for discussions. You don’t have to be mirror images, but you should have the same core values. You need more than good chemistry to have a successful relationship. Chemistry is what causes us to fall in love, but our underlying values are what creates a satisfying relationship.
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