Finding the Ideal Spouse

Love at first sight. Soulmate. Destiny. Do you believe in this things? These are romantic idealizations of how people find the person they will spend their whole life with. Reality, however, does not support the idea that finding the ideal husband or wife do not simply happen by chance. Effort has to be exerted to increase the chance of finding that person that would make one happy.

So how do you increase the probability of finding the one that will best suit your personality, enhance your strength, understand your weaknesses, make you happy?

1) Know yourself. Unless you know yourself , what you do and don’t want, the task would be impossible to accomplish. Self-examination is always a tough, but necessary task. Imagine how the future would be a few years from now. What would you like to accomplish? How would you be able to balance your responsibilities in your extended family, your career and the family that you will have just started? This provides valuable clues to the profile of the person you should be ‘hunting’.

2) Note the most important traits you would look for in a partner. This would include not only the physical looks, but also educational, cultural and family background, religious and other beliefs, hobbies, etc. Set your standards and try your best not to let fickle emotions cloud your judgement.

3) ‘Market’ yourself. Know what these types of people most probably want. Where do they usually hang out? What organizations do they join? You may not want to look like an unkempt artist if you are into beauty queen types of ladies. Slightly pattern your characteristics to fit what they are looking for while at the same time maintaining your personal identity.

4) Make the move. Again, if you leave everything to chance, your chances of getting the spouse you would be happy to spend a lifetime with will be slim. Exert the effort, this is surely an aspect of your life that needs serious thinking and a lot of doing.

Too often, too much belief in fortuity and too much viewing of romantic movies make people commit to relationships that would later prove to be unsustainable, even destructive. Don’t be a victim, increase your chance to have a happy married life.