I once read a book saying that in other countries, people are amused to hear the sound of carbon monoxide escaping from the butthole of a person. I do not know it’s true, though. Perhaps our foreign visitors also found that book, only to think that Philippines is one of them having this ‘amusing fart-loving culture’.
We have more than 15 foreign visitors staying in our transient staff house. There are only 10 rooms with bathroom, so the rest of them share the CR and shower at the common area, where the regular occupants also share. Even prior to their arrival, sharing a common bathroom with more or less 10 than people is a comical experience. Every morning, you’ve got to see, hear and even smell the unimaginable. It may sound disgusting but we’ve got no choice but to live with it and sometimes make fun of its hilarity. Besides, I’ve also got a share of revenge. I mean, I’ve learned to master my own strategy of coping with the torment. Sometimes, I’d wake up earlier than anyone else to have my trip to the bathroom in total solemnity. There are also times when I have to escape the quickest possible, especially when I hear hints of mysterious banging on the door. It would only mean, someone is going to express his digestive uneasiness.
There are times when I just couldn’t help myself but laugh. While inside the shower, I would clasp my mouth and laugh without making any sound. Sometimes, it’s just painful in the chest to laugh without a sound. So, in order to enjoy a myriad laughter while escaping from the turmoil in the bathroom, I would rush to my room even with soap all over me, and I would laugh out loud.
With the foreign visitors, my bathroom routine got more electrifying. I once brought a basin of underwear to wash them in the bathroom. It was nine thirty in the evening. I thought the visitors were asleep, the hallway was already peaceful. I was humming a tune when a foreign visitor, who was wearing a hideous pair of bacon-curled underwear, walked in from my back to pee. He went to the urinal on my left side. As I poured powdered soap on my laundry, I heard him making a sound from his behind. At first, it was like a timid puff of air. But then, it kept on popping deliberately and it was getting louder and louder. It was too late to escape. I stayed there listening to his butt melody hoping that it wouldn’t come with a smell.
Then, I wondered if he would to say sorry about it. He didn’t. Maybe he doesn’t speak english. For us Filipinos, it’s funny to hear someone fart but we don’t actually enjoy the whole thing about it, especially if it’s intentional. We even apologize to other people if we un-forgivingly lose hold of it to escape on its own. Knowing that it had crawled inside the dungeons of our intestines, it’s definitely disgusting.
My question now is, how do you find farting in your place?
Original work from Farting in Different Languages