Falling out of love with a good man

You first know you are falling out of love when you become aware that you are spending more time with your friends than with your partner and that you don’t miss him at all; in fact you wish you were single. You no longer want to sit on the couch and cuddle, and while you are happy to cook and clean, you do not want sex. You are thinking of having a room to yourself, closing the door for privacy, and only opening it when you need to let the world in. You have no children and responsibility and the thought of freedom makes you tingle with excitement. At the same time as you are tingling you feel a deep sense of guilt for wanting to leave him when he did nothing wrong. This is not what you signed up for, you tell yourself. You got married for love and to raise a family. Why then do you feel so unhappy about your existence? And why do people fall out of love?

Reasons for falling out of love

• You are bored with your partner and crave new excitement or a new man

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• You want to be on your own and not cater to his sexual needs anymore. In fact, you have been celibate now for a year or two.

• You want to start a new life away from everything you know.

• You don’t want to be in the same bed with him when he passes gas or don’t brush his teeth.

• You want to be independent, have him as a really good friend you can call on, do the same for him in return, but you do not want commitment.•

One of the most important reasons why people fall out of love is because deep inside they are afraid that you will discover who they really are and cannot look that demon in the face. They do not have the inclination to sit in a psychologist’s office and discuss their fears or own the contribution they have made to a relationship that is rapidly failing. Of course not all relationships fail for the above reasons. You could truly just have woken up one morning and found a complete stranger in your bed – one that you catered to and cared for many years, but not really loved.

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