Unconsciously, parents often say the words that could have a negative impact on children. Children may become insecure, sad or hateful.
"We are well-intentioned, but sometimes we say things without thinking about how children receive it," said Amy McCready, founder of Positive Parenting Solutions and author of If I Have to Tell You One More Time...
Here is the second part of the 10 words which, according to Amy, parents should think twice before saying it to the child, as quoted from Womans Day (To Read the First Part, Read This: 10 Words You Must Avoid When Talking to Your Child (Part. 1)
6. "You Are the Greatest When You Play Football"
Praising children when they do something extraordinary is important. "But the credit also can be bad because it limits him," says McCready. Always telling that the child is smart or great, according to McCready, can make child be afraid to try anything new or more challenging. "The boy is afraid he would not be smart again if he only got B instead of A," he said. Children fears and feels bad as he cannot meet the 'label' which had given by the parents. Instead of excessive praise, McCready advises parents to focus on the child's efforts and how they work hard. For example, by saying, "Try the best" or "Mom is proud you have learned and got A".
7. "Don’t be Afraid; the First Day of School will be OK"
"If you tell children not to feel worried, you eliminate the feelings," says psychologist and author of 'A to Z Guide to Raising Happy, Confident Kids', Jenn Berman, PhD. Your words still does not eliminate the concerns of children. "He's still worried about the first day of school and he also grows concerned because he feel afraid," said Dr. Berman. Instead of saying 'Don’t be afraid' or 'Don’t be sad', say “Mom knows you're scared. So tell me what makes you afraid? '.
8. "Because I Say So"
By saying the above sentence, you will be impressed as an authoritarian parent. "You do not consider the child's ability to learn independently or solve a problem," said Dr. Berman. In addition, the speech will also make the child feel his willing is unheard. For example, when you invite your child to his aunt's house he actually prefers to play. Rather than saying 'Because I told you to go there', says the child "I know you'd rather play, but the aunt love it when you see her". By saying that, although the child will still complain, at least he knows his willing is heard. Child can also learn and see how you keep in touch with family.
9. "I Want You Not to Play with Him. I Dislike That Boy"
"When you say the sentence above, the child will become increasingly interested in playing with him," said Dr. Berman. So, think about why you do not like your child plays with one of his friends? Do you think his friend has a negative impact or harm? After knowing the cause, take the child to talk. "Ask children for example, why he likes playing with his friend? What they usually do?" said Dr. Berman. With this conversation, you open up lines of communication with child. Later the child will know whether he is a good friend or not.
10. "Not Like That. Let Me Show You"
You ask the child to sweep the floor. But he could not do it well. Then you immediately take over what he is doing and saying the sentence above. "The way is less true because the child will never learn how to do it and he also becomes less interested in trying again any task you give," said Dr. Berman.